A woman from the US who says she has experienced a “parenthood curse” because of her own upbringing is speaking out about her experiences with “sadness, anger, and shame”.
The woman, known only as D.A., told the ABC’s Sunrise program she had “experienced” the “saddness, rage and shame” as a child and “that it was a very bad feeling”.
But she said it was “not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me” and “never will be”.
“I think it’s been a big source of confusion for parents and kids.
You can’t control it. “
You can’t help it.
You can’t control it.
And it’s not going to change.
It’s going to get worse,” she said.
Asthas “sads” and told Sunrise she has “lived through” “somewhere between six and eight different types of bad experiences with the parenthood curses”.
“The curse is a very specific kind of curse,” she told Sunrise.
“I can only describe it in terms of bad things that I’ve experienced and that I’m afraid of, and I’ve had to live through.”
The good things, however, I’ve been able to learn from, because I’ve done something about it.”‘
A lot of parents are scared to talk’The woman said she has been dealing with “the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced” as her own experiences had been “misconstrued” by her parents and other people.”
My parents’ reaction to this is to say ‘we’re not afraid to talk to you’, but there’s a lot of families that are scared of talking to me,” she explained.”
When parents are so fearful, they’re scared of the word ‘parent’ and the word being associated with a certain family.
“There are times where people just want to be left alone and not to feel vulnerable.”
It’s a little scary to me, because when my mother and my dad are scared, they say ‘well, you’ve never been around this family’.
“So if they’re like that, they are not ‘parenting’, they’re not doing it for the right reasons.”
And then when it’s my mom and dad, they really are, and they’ve never really said ‘I’m not afraid of you’.
“It doesn’t matter how you react, it doesn’t really matter what they say.
I don’t know how to tell them that.”‘
I can’t feel safe’D.A. said she was “very upset” when her father told her to stay home from school after she was home from hospital, but she was reassured by her mother that they would be able to talk through it.
“But I can’t.
It just doesn’t feel right.
I can feel unsafe.”‘
My parents have been so hurt by this’The ABC’s ABC Breakfast program was one of the first programs to interview Ms D. as she spoke to Sunrise.
Ms Poulter said she had spoken to her parents about their reactions and had seen their reactions on TV.
“They’re very hurt and I can tell you they’ve been so upset,” Ms Poulters said.
“So I’ve gone to them and I said, ‘do you think it should have been a parent who said ‘no, I’ll go to the hospital?’?”
“And they said ‘well maybe, but not me’.”
Ms Poulster said her parents were “totally devastated” and wanted to know “what I can do to help”.
“They’ve been hurt by my father saying that he wants me to be at school, but he’s not actually telling me what he’s going through, he’s just telling me that he’s having a bad day and I’m not going home.”
“I know what I’m doing isn’t right.
And I know I’m going to have to learn how to live with that.”
Ms Pulser said she felt “shame” for not speaking to her father about the curse because she had been at school and had been on the way home when she was taken ill.
“We’ve been at work for about six months and I don.t think I’ve spoken to my father in five weeks, because that’s not right,” she added.’
It’s hard to tell the difference’Ms D said her experience was “really not” like her own.
“All I can say is that I can not feel safe around other kids,” she continued.
“For a parent, the best thing they can do is tell the child that they are there for them, that they love them and that they will help them through it.”
Ms D’s experience was a “very different” one than Ms Poulsters and Ms Pulsers.
“That’s what’s so frustrating